Is Giving Money To My Siblings Enabling Them?

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Title	:	Is Giving Money To My Siblings Enabling Them?
Lasting	:	8.01
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Views	:	65 rb

I see what he means when he says his culture is different Its a very modern American view to keep all your money, kids not financially helping their parents, parents financially cutting off their kids ect (not that I disagree with that) You hear a lot of immigrants say they "send money back home" Almost always Other cultures have the kids, parents and grandparents all live under one roof, or grandparents living very close by They're very close knit American culture leans towards kicking your children out when they're 18, moving away from grandparents, putting the elderly in "homes" and never asking for or discussing the finances of other family members There are upsides and downsides to both
Comment from : Birds Eye

His wife?😂😂😂
Comment from : Daniel Cuckler

As an adopted child his interaction with his siblings is one of the reasons I’ve never had a desire to connect with my biological family It’s crass to say but my birth mother had me when she was 14-15 years old and I was born into a crack household before I was taken by DHS I was blessed ridiculously that an attorney colleague of my dads brought up the issue of me being taken from my birth mother and my dad immediately felt a need to intervene and I was adopted by my family And that drastically changed the navigation of my life as instead of growing up to an extremely young mother in a drug home I was raised by an upper middle class family and given all the privilege that comes with that But I’ve never desired to contact my biological family largely because my family is my family and I’ve never had the desire to muddy those waters But I’ve also hesitated thinking that connecting with possibke siblings who grew up in that environment likely are going to be in bad places and may feel the need to seek support from my wife and I who are in a healthy situation That’s certainly selfish of me but it’s always been a small nagging feeling whenever the topic has been broached by people when they learn of my adoption
Comment from : Matt

The problem sometimes is that you need to know WHY someone needs help "I can't make rent" isn't enough WHY can't they make rent is the question I hate to think this way sometimes, but you also have to ensure they aren't using their "need" as a means to subsidize the bad behavior Even if you buy them food or something, that still offsets their expenses to a point where it frees up their own money to spend badly
Comment from : Bill Melater

304 ruined families
Comment from : XRAY8492

Yes
Comment from : H H

Very helpful!
Comment from : Alicia Reed

When the money stops, the relationship stops
Comment from : C Ken Teri-yaki

there is an important part missing in that advice That is, actually listen, and engage emotionally I am not sure the caller needed to here that He might be an empathetic person But the listeners did
Comment from : MusikCassette

Give a man a fish he eats for a day, teach a man to fish he eats for a lifetime
Comment from : Messy Little Foodie

BS about the native american community really givingit is the MOST abusive of all groups
Comment from : Why Me

Too many babies Adopt
Comment from : salamandra

I ❤ how Dave, keeps it real!
Comment from : Vanessa Garcia

"Help" is not funding someone's delusions or craziness
Comment from : Buffy McMuffin

I gave £500 to my older brother once, to help with his expenses He was going on a holiday and getting married The money was a loan and that's the agreement we reached He came back a year later after travelling with his new wife I gave him a couple of months to work and get his bearing, before I asked for my money Keep in mind, I was 23, studying full time, and working full-time on the weekends brIn the UK, £500 is a lot of money for a full time student brHis response was: "when did I take money from you? What money?" I was shocked On that day, I made a vow to myself to never lend him money again I also forgave me and the money he owed me But I have never forgotten
Comment from : Nora

THANK YOU,brDAVE RAMSEY!brbrPeople NEED to hear thisbrbr"Helping people"brbut they'rebrNOT BETTERbr from where they were before,bryou really have not helpedbrthem at allbrBECAUSE THEY DID NOTbrLIFT A FINGER TO HELPbrTHEMSELVES!
Comment from : cuzuvmcvoy

Great insight Doc John
Comment from : Ernest Behring

It's called loving them Something David doesn't know anything about because of his cold, dead heart
Comment from : MikeTheYungGod

I notice after reading a lot of comments and listening to the video, no one has mentioned the disabled sister brWhy?brAnd why is she disabled? brComing from somebody who is disabled and whose family has seen her as a loser from way back, I ask I ended up homeless because where does one go on $600 a month? brI wasn't a drinker and I didn't do drugs I had medical issues and my family notoriously rolled their eyes all the freaking time brI had one sister who was very well off who had three empty bedrooms in her paid for home I never asked her for a place to live but she knew I needed one Her and her husband also worked and she worked under the table and didn't pay taxes for over 20 yearsbrbrIf there's drinking or drugs involved and no accountability on how the money is spent either you teach them how to use what they have or you don't do anything brBut there seems to be a lot of answers lacking to the questions we don't know about I'm not saying to help everybody I'm saying it's not a one-size-fits-all and there's a lot of details that need to be gone into
Comment from : Miss Sunshine

My guess is that there is substance abuse involved Perhaps talk to them about that first
Comment from : AmericanMamaResale

Help the disabled family member
Comment from : Noblegirl

I have always told our daughter if Mommy and Daddy are paying the bills, Mommy and Daddy OWN you Epilogue" She pays her OWN BILLS
Comment from : Patty Jones

I feel for the caller I stopped giving to family and became the "bad guy" The caller needs to be strong and not give them a dime It will never be enough! Supporting them mentally to get a job and budget their money is what they need from him! Good advice Dave and Dr John
Comment from : God’sCountry

That’s real stuff right there
Comment from : Mike Doe

Giving money is ok if you have the money and both agree, as long as it isn't constant They need to fix their problems themselves
Comment from : Jim Roscovius

😎👌✌👍🖖🤓
Comment from : john mirbach

How does your wife feel? I wouldn't be cool with helping able bodied adults The disabled sister I understand but I would manage the money, not give it to make sure it's handled for what it was intended We help his disabled mother but the adult kids really siphon off of her and it's aggravating They're younger and stronger than us!
Comment from : Elizabeth

Depends on how the family member is behavingbrbrDon't hand money to an alcoholic, gambler or drug abuser
Comment from : F Huber

As long as they pay it back, that’s all that matters
Comment from : Jake Franchise

Aside from the disabled sister, is there any reason the other siblings can't emulate/be as successful as the caller?
Comment from : Johanna

Should have never found out who your biological siblings were
Comment from : Rig Hand

If someone needs money, they need to be taught how to use it If they arent humble enough for guidance, they arent humble enough to ask for the help
Comment from : D Jackson

👍💯👏💣💥
Comment from : Kristen Marie

There's no issue with giving, but if you help them and they don't improve it didn't really help them you can help them once to get them out of a hole, but they shouldn't be coming to you like an atm
Comment from : Christopher Rosas

I think if his sister is disabled and cannot make it every month on the small disability check she gets every month, that might be different, because if she wasn't disabled, she would be able to get a job, and she obviously can't do that if she is seriously disabled You're actually helping someone to have a better life in a case like that I have a friend who is physically disabled, and it seems like there is no cure in sightif anything her physical state, especially lately, has gotten way worse Helping her to have some of the things she needs is helping her to have a better life than she would have if no one helped her
Comment from : Sheryl777

I helped my siblings a lot more than this guy did Here it isbr1> Gave 50K to my elder brother to buy a housebr2> Gave 50K to my elder sister to build her housebr3> Gave another sister 70K to start her businessbr4> Gave my mom over 200K as she is literally broke Would die of starvation if I dont support herbrbrAnd still they look for more help, So now, I have made Dave's plan, I have asked my mom to put 50K as their emergency fund ( but not tell em ) and only give when I am sure they must have So in a way, giving away is good part, but enabling is bad I have set and have been setting my of income for em every year and they are such a failure I feel bad about em
Comment from : Prem Chettri

Thank you so much for the honest answers to this question
Comment from : Sue K

This is tough That sounds like my husband’s side of family We are doing excellent but not my husband’s 2 brothers My husband is the baby at 52 Their parents died when they were young They think cause we have more than them that we should give them money Only one of them ask but it’s bothering me cause I get up every day to go to work and why should I constantly give my hard earned money to someone who didn’t save I don’t mind once or twice but every month is ridiculous
Comment from : Olivia Acosta

20th comment
Comment from : Bethany Roberts

Most definitely agree with the comments and suggestions
Comment from : Mike Shaw

I wish they would have added, "And if you give money, be in agreement with your wife" She has a say My parents almost divorced because of giving money to family members without the other knowing or agreeing
Comment from : Mike Z

Given your age an assets, I don't think you are doing well as well as you think You seem to be on the track right track but you are not really in a position to support your entire extended family You're siblings are also manipulating you
Comment from : Flea

I once bought a $20 Xbox live card for my younger half brother He said he'd pay me back When I asked for repayment he was an unbelievably rude punk I've never gave him any money ever again I'm an engineer and high earner, but the disrespect I'll never forget
Comment from : fauxbro1983

Imagine if "disability" payments weren't a thing Would these people just die or figure their life out?
Comment from : Sizukun

About 10 years ago my brother asked for 1k I asked him what it was for he said he wanted to use it to gamble as he wanted to become a "professional gambler" I said no but if you need food or a ride to a job interview just ask He hasn't talked to me since
Comment from : Heath Brockway

Give money don't loan
Comment from : Nicky 9

His siblings are playing him Who meets with someone knowing they don’t have the money to get back home? That’s manipulative The honest thing to do would be to tell him they’d like to meet, but can’t afford the tripwhere did they have to get home from? Another state, or the diner across town from their home?
Comment from : GenX X

Does Dave ever answer questions posted here?
Comment from : Brad K

If someone is in a bad financial situation, they made at least a dozen bad decisions that lead them there
Comment from : untouchable360x

They don’t really have that much money based on salaries and age
Comment from : SilentNot

“If you have the guts to ask me for money, I have the guts to tell you how to use it” — Dave Ramsey
Comment from : slywalker

For anyone including Ramsey show what can I do to get out of this house I'm 18 and my mom won't give me my bank account, I don't have a ride I've asked so many people I have money but I unsure how much andim afraid it's being taken I also having a hard time getting my birth certificate because she hides it so I can't get money etc
Comment from : Terrelle Johnson